i must admit, i’m a part time ec-er

I dont want to be. i’d rather be doing this full time. maybe super mama could, but i cant. i’m home a lot, but i’m home with sometimes 5 kids. at the very little i’m home with my own 3. thats a lot of kids to feed and get to the potty and maybe on a good day, do something productive with them. and on top of it i’m trying to ec my new babe. i truly believe in it, i think its an amazing thing, but i cant do it all the time. he’s in cloth and when he wakes up i pee him (if i’m home – because lief has decided that he loves to pee in the potty, not over the toilet. he’s gotten pretty vocal about that). I just dont think i can commit to more than that. i’m sure there are people who think i’m retarded to be thinking this. they probably think that i’m taking enough on and to give up already, or at the very least give myself a break. and maybe i should. but i want to do this. i want to do this for lief. i think it would be great for him. but i need to balence my life too. i’m crazy most of the time. i dont think that i can retain much information. i dont think that i can fuction to the outside world. but i’m doing my best, and i think that might have to mean that i’m just a part time ec-er. for now.